Education – Parents, Children and Suicides.

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– By Hilda D’Silva, Kallianpur.

“Education is not preparation for life. Education is life itself” – The words of John Dewey reflect how education can shape personality, can be a tool to live and achieve. Therefore Nelson Mandela, a noble leader rightly exclaimed, “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” So education is life, education is a powerful weapon in the hands of an individual. Education is super important because it opens a world of opportunities, helps develop new skills and shape perspectives to life. Education is the catalyst to build self confidence and self esteem. Naturally in the present modern society, parents and elders alike, educated or uneducated, aspire to give best education, in good schools and colleges, to their children.

All of us know the truth that the first school is home and parents are the first educators. This is all the more true in today’s materialistic society where money and wealth replace basic values. Therefore, the big difference between education and literacy. We see in the world of ours, different parenting styles – Authoritarian – Extreme parenting with strict rules and punishment. One way communication with little consideration of child’s social and emotional needs.

Authoritative – Open communication with children. Solving problems together with children and setting clear rules and expectations.

Permissive parenting – Over indulging and child driven. Rarely enforcing rules.

Neglectful – Indifferent to child’s social and emotional needs. There is little warmth and few expectations.

The best parenting style seems to be authoritative where parents understand the children, have open discussions with them and respect their choices as they grow up.

As we all know, education is the best investment – it is one thing which cannot be stolen or taken away. Parents today – rich or poor – aspire that their children secure the best education in the best institutions. But many parents today adopt Authoritarian style, imposing on their children their unfulfilled dreams and aspirations. Another evil of modern society is competition between not students, but parents about degrees obtained by their children. A matter to boast, to glorify themselves, parents  drive their children to the limit without a care for their psychological and emotional state.

A tragic situation is mass suicides by students in the present society. Desperate move by students who are the cream of society, hope of the future all because of the pressure, by parents imposing their dreams on children. Kota, Rajasthan which is the coaching hub of India, a small city witnessed 17 cases of a suicide in 2024, 26 in 2023 and 15 in 2022. In January 2025, there were six suicides by students in Kota. In the coaching centers packed schedules, cut throat competition, constant pressure to do better, burden of parents expectations and homesickness are among the common struggles of students in Kota and other cities.

If education instead of being a catalyst for growth becomes a death warrant to students, what is the role of parents and elders? Can we allow this sorry state of affairs to continue? Definitely not. If we peep into reality today, globalization has opened so many avenues to children and youth to pursue their dreams. It is not science subjects alone which are employment oriented. Vast scope to Accountancy, Commerce, Economics, Psychology, Journalism, Architecture, Fashion Industry are choices to build career. Therefore, parents have to be mentors and motivators rather than judges and critics of children.

This role of parents as mentors can be in multiple ways.

1. Know your children, recognize their strengths and weaknesses.
2. Stay connected with your children always and know their feelings.
3. Help children set realistic goals and not your ambitions.
4. Provide constructive feedback
5. Help them to see the bigger picture.
6. Please accept them happily when they fail because failure can be a stepping stone to success.
7. Accept their ideas genuinely because they have better knowledge of subjects than the parents sometimes.
8. Encourage them to explore books, puzzles, digital tools.
9. Education and learning should be pleasure to children, not a burden.

Remember dear parents that dignity of labor should be our motto. It is better to be a good tailor rather than a doctor with tools killing people. By our ambition, can we ever accept our children insane or dead? Therefore education should be a catalyst for growth, for living, for pleasure, for monetary gain and for fulfillment.